24/05/2016

“Omo Odo Palava”: Seven Things To Do When Oga is Eyeing You!



Ini Edo
Jollof rice on point, amala, gbegiri and ewedu nko? forgerit! I mean, your omo odo skills has been sharpened beyond contest, just so you could just secure that spot in your new madam’s house to help you save up, but now, devil is trying to
use oga to spoil your blues, but it will not work! – “no weapon fashioned against you shall prosper”, for what? But, there’re some rules; Omo, first thing first, forget whether you were among the “raining babes” in the villa when you leave your home to start a new life under someone else’s roof, your identity must change – simple.
Follow these seven steps and you’ll be off your oga’s radar for good:
Zero Makeup: 
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Let’s face it, no maid is allowed the leisure of wearing makeup in a typical Nigerian home,“In which house??” Eye pencil and mascara you can sneak away with, but if your oga has got those lustful eyes on you, better forget everything about ” accentuating those assets” – Do it “Sister Mary style” – “I belong to Jesus, Satan leave me alone…”
Mary Amaka 
Ivorian_woman abbb89ac3c778e39f65b8a6f0dcfd82d
Desperate times, desperate measures! No time to play, you’ve got to blur that wavering vision and fast. No hint of curves whatsoever; drown every trace of your womanly curves and he’ll zoom those lenses out, faster than you can imagine. Smart girl!
“Sosorobia” perfume
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A man might be moved by vision but hey, never undermine the power of smell! Now you’ve dressed the part, but you’ve got to send him running as far away as possible from you. You see those Mallams parading all kinds of nameless perfumes? Hold them real close. Give yourself a good douse of unforgivable strong scents every day and he’ll never want to set those eyes on you forever – Very irritating somebori!!
Magun
ladies crying flavour mali
Omo, forget about that vow you made never to lie, this is for a just cause. If the above tricks don’t work, you’ve got to invoke some African magic! Yep! But not literally though. If the pressure is getting out of hand, simply spill this out – “Oga, the thing wey I wan tell you, e hard me to talk am…but as I like you, e no go good if I no tell you. One boyfriend wey I get one time put magun for my bodi and any person wey I dey do kolabo with go go yonder, even sef four men don go already…then cry those eyes out! He’ll console you but flee for his dear life” 
Death
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And no, we’re not talking murder or faking your own death; this is Nollywood film 101 – Fake your father’s death and then do an emergency trip to the village but make sure you keep them in the “know” cos you’ve got to have backup – burial arrangement and all (you drag your stay…then feed that belly with all kinds of delicacies every minute of the day for a whole month and when it expires, you make your grand entrance back to base. Trust me, the first sight of you will leave “that thing” in shock for life and you’ll be set free at last!
Blackmail
meme
Chia! Some men can be stubborn ehn, if you like tell them you have HIV they will still want to do, if this happens and nothing seems to work, my dear you’ve got to leave sentiments apart and brave up – Go hardcore – threaten to divulge all to his loving wife, but don’t leave it at that, as a smart babe you ask for settlement then disappear into thin air and live big. Life isn’t hard joor
Dust those slippers
woman-running-away-i14
Okay jokes apart though, truth be told, if a man is determined to have you, regardless of whatever “tangible” excuse you come up with, he will! So what do you do then? Omo, no time to waste, remove those slippers and run as fast as you can all the way to villa and never ever look back! Better save than sorry. I no fit shout!

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