Timeless lessons for every woman in Abiola’s ‘Who Says It’s A Man’s World?’

Only a few ever query the old adage “It’s a man’ world” even though there are women everywhere reshaping their world, leading corporations, redefining professionalism, creating change in industries and continents, birthing and nurturing innovations, grooming future leaders and affecting their world in unimaginable ways. Amazingly, and in fact, ironically, a young male writer, Abiola Salami, popularly known as Champ, however appears ready to set a trend with his inspiring women series, beginning with his latest book, “Who 

Says It’s a Man’s World?”, launched over the weekend in Lagos. Constant reassurance The 48-page book which can be a powerful reference point for any young girl or woman seeking constant reassurance or who desires to be exceptional in her life pursuits, is divided into three segments- ‘Be Comfortable In Your Skin’, ‘Be Confident’ and ‘Be The #1 Lifter Of Other Women’, each embellished with about three to four colourful pages bearing crisp words of inspiration, written in bold prints. Greatest love: Just like Whitney Houston’s hit song The Greatest Love of All preaches, the first segment ‘Be Comfortable Your Skin’, captures the inexhaustible benefits of love for self. In this segment, the reader is taught how the mind can immensely influence and determine progress in life, even as the writer posits that women with good self-esteem tend to advance towards becoming exceptional, far more than women who have low self-esteem. The writer goes further to tie advancement in life to the power of the mind, citing examples of how too many women lose faith in themselves (physical look, intelligence, etc.) and constantly require cosmetics or seek other people’s approval and judgement before they can feel good about themselves. “No matter how articulate their (other people) positive words are, you will always listen with your mind, not your ears. …Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. No matter what society says or what your friends say, it should not keep you down”-page 11. “If you desire to become an exceptional woman, you need to look in the right direction for getting your self-approval”- page 13. The panacea to guarding against other people’s ploy to deplete your self-esteem as a woman, the writer therefore suggests, is to cultivate the habit of holding yourself tight with a “Let Them Say Attitude” when people talk down on you out of jealousy. That way, you gain control over your reaction to words that get into your world and also out of your world. As if also sending a ‘beware’ signal to male chauvinists, the writer, in the second segment, ‘Be Confident’, x-rays the ability of women to be extremely powerful ‘’if’’ they put their mind to it. Disabusing the minds of female folks who have however accepted the “weaker vessel” label which is almost now synonymous with women, the writer says: “From historical times to contemporary time, when we consider what women have achieved in bringing peace to the world, in leading industries, nurturing human species, birthing innovations and several other first-rate achievements, we will see that the weaker vessel concept many hold is erroneous”- page 23. Steel nature The writer goes further to cite proofs of the steel-nature of women, alluding the historic Trung Sisters, two courageous Vietnam women- Trung Trac and Trung Nhi, who successfully led the first national uprising against foreign domination by the Chinese, who had previously conquered Vietnam in the year 40 A.D. Talking about self-confidence, too many women unfortunately believe it can only emanate from physical beauty.  As such, the writer says: “Your confidence should emanate from the conviction that you can deliver excellence far beyond your expectation…that you are the finished product of creation…”- page 26. The first step to becoming confident, he however enthused, is by understanding that a woman is a steel inside but a velvet outside; she could be gentle but also firm. Be the lifter: The icing on the cake in ‘Who Says It’s A Man’s World?’, however, is the third segment, ‘Be The #1 Lifter Of Other Women’, which, in actual fact, is a problem rife amongst women; so rife that some have opined that one reason many women hardly rise to the top- particularly in politics, is because some others, on reaching there, decide to push down the ladder with which they rose. Hence, the writer, in this segment which chronicles the story of two women- Halima and Uche, proves that real success as an exceptional woman comes from lifting other women and comforting them in their times of need. This segment also gives the reader a clear definition and understanding of who an exceptional woman truly is- one who empowers another; doesn’t measure herself against another woman but stands strong, calm and confident; and one who looks beyond the smiles of others and shows genuine concern and affection when they go through hard times.