Relationship trends are changing by the day, strange variations of relationships are emerging and the world is ready to pitch its tent on any idea which it feels an extra ounce of comfort.
The norms regarding relationships and family settings are changing, such that one may not be able to define a simple nuclear family in the nearest future.
One of such major relationship change is the age disparity between the parties involved. In the usual African setting, most relationships exist between an older man and a younger woman, majorly to keep the respect going and also due to the patriarchal nature of the African setting.
However, things are not as it seems anymore, as investigations show that many intimate relationships instituted these days have a different setting. It has almost become norm these days to have youngmen warm-up to older women; the trend is so fast growing that one gets to wonder why.
The reasons are not far-fetched though, below are five very cogent reasons why young men of these days find comfort and companionship in older women.
1. Domination (Less stressful)
For most of the young men of today, stress is not a part of the bargain. So many of them would tell you that they can’t keep up with the continuous antics which younger girls use to make themselves hard to get; hence they turn their eyes elsewhere.
The older ladies tend to have little or no time for all those games, says one Emeka Amajoyi . According to him, if the older woman likes you, she does not mind walking up to you and woo you over.
Emeka notes that there is little or no attention paid to how many text messages the young man sends, or how many times he visits; because if he won’t do it or don’t have the means to, she (the older woman) would not mind playing the role.
Now this is not to say that the older ladies are cheap, but they are more aware of the fact that the threshold for patience has drastically diminished in this age; and if you don’t grab while it is still hot, the next minute it might be gone.
Experts however say that the less stress card is actually a ploy for this men to hide the fact that they so crave domination but do not know how to subdue or tame the younger ladies.
Being somewhat shy or not being able to keep up with the exposure of the young girls, the men give up and tend to pitch their tents in places where they are more comfortable with, places where they don’t feel challenged.
And though inwardly they crave these young girls, they try to comfort themselves by saying older women are less stressful.
2. Intimidation (More economical)
Buttressing the point of less stress is the less expensive and more economical reason. For Ayodele Banji, younger girls are always quite expensive; you would need to buy them virtually everything. From call credits to toiletries, most young girls will demand even those that tend to have something doing.
Banji says the problem is that the young girls have the notion that the man must do all the providing and the women are to just sit back, relax and enjoy his hard earned money. He claims that most of the girls lack the concept of team work in which both parties contribute to make things work.
Most of the men in this school of thought, are those intimidated by young girls. They crave to dominate, to be worshiped, but might not have the means, nor the ability to actualize their dream of supremacy. Hence they continue to hide under the guise that older women are more economical, even though they would have loved to be able to supply every need of their partners.
3. Monetary benefits (Laziness)
For some young men, they are in the relationship with older women for the monetary benefit. Calistus Barunoh says the older women pay the younger men most times. For him it’s all about the financial benefit, most of these older women spend a lot for their young lovers, ensuring that their needs are well tended to.
Calistus says, some women go ahead to rent apartments for these young men, buy them clothes and cars; sponsor them on trips abroad; all without a flinch.
He says it is this financial benefit that gets many young men glued on the older women, in that all they want is supplied.
Examining this case, some experts have said that men who enter relationships for financial benefits are the lazy types, gold-diggers. They are pranksters with varied degree of wits, however most of their antics do not tend to work on the younger girls who are still hustling to make ends meet, so these men would rather not bother themselves with the lasses, when there are already made women to milk.
4. Motherly attachments (Childishness)
Ambrose Darlington said for him, many young men of this generation have a very sentimental attachment to their mothers, and crave to see what transpired in their homes, play out in their own relationships.
They crave the motherly attention which they are used to, but the young ladies have never been mothers and thus cannot give what they do not have. Hence, the young men move to where they notice a replica of what their mothers used to give them; only this time with more strings attached.
He said the older women pamper these youngmen like only mothers will do; they treat them in such priceless ways which only one’s mother will. Thus, the youngmen get hooked, they want to enjoy the boyhood feeling even while they are men. This factor experts say have led to the crumbling of many young marriages. The young man begins to compare his youthful wife to his aged mother and seeing no parallel lines, he tends to get ticked-off.
The pampering and sentimental attachments which the young men in question crave and have towards older women, has been attributed to childishness. Experts say they are those who have refused to grow up, hence it all adds up to why they are intimidated and lazy, and also links to the next point below.
5. No strings attached (Irresponsible)
Chibuzor Onyeka said, many people these days want relationships in which there are less strings attached. So some people want to have babies but don’t necessarily need a wife, same way some young men want relationships that doesn’t necessarily tie them down.
Many young ladies in Nigeria still have their eyes fixed on marriage, an institution which many young men shy away from. Chibuzor notes that not only do the young ladies want to get married, they want a very glamorous wedding ceremony; ordinarily that would not be a problem back in the days, but now, “boys are not smiling”, Chibuzor stressed.
The older women on the other hand, might have had their glorious wedding ceremonies in the past and are way over the euphoria of garments and creeds. They just want some comfort, and companionship; in whichever quantity they get it, they are satisfied.
Hence, the young men seize the opportunity; it is less stressful, more economical, and more beneficial and has no extra strings attached. For them, relationships with older women are well defined without definitions. A certain weight of responsibility is lifted off their shoulders, the relationship is very flexible and they find in it a win-win situation.
This reason gives credence to the fact that the young men are childish, it is only a child that cares less but wants more, its all about him. The child has no responsibility per-say, so he relies on those who supply him.
These are the five strange reasons why young men date older women, let us know what you think. Do you think the reasons are cogent enough? Do you think there is more than meets the eye in relationships of this kind?
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