6 May 2016

My Story – Why I Walked Away From My Marriage And I Have no Regrets (Must Read)



I got married Nov 2013 to a man I met down North while in school, we dated for 6 months. When I got into the marriage I found out that all he said he ever own are not existing. Like he claimed he owns a fuel station but his doesn’t own a block, just the house we lived in is
his.. I wasn’t desperate to get married just that I love be married, I love family and home so when I found out all he says about having those investment are lies I still remain and I assured him I will stand by him till his dreams actualizes..
I also found out he own his business partner 20 million and that debt have be existing before we married I never knew, our wedding was immersely supported by my parent , I took in after some months, my MIL was loving and caring, she wants to know every thing about the development of my child while in womb through out my pregnancy.. We were hustling couple, because I found out I have alot to things to keep in place like his business wasn’t really accounted for and been married to a debtor I deprived myself alot to make sure the debt was paid, did I mention he owes the bank too?? The bank was there too with their pressure, I have to combine my pregnancy and school and manage his head office so we can met up with the debts.. 
As God may have it we where able to pay up the bank and his business partner at less 80% of his money bfor troubles started… Though back before we got married, my Ex told me that I shouldn’t be too close to his mum that she’s actually not what she looks like, I noticed it because at that period I remember telling my MIL that her son plans of importing a large quantity of what the deal ON… We both smile about it and the next day she called me as early as 5:30am to warn me.. Luckily her son was with me, she told me non of her son’s will be higher than her n she hangs the call…after some days she called and started forming her too care syndrome, she even plead I should make her close to her son, after alot pressure from her I begged my husband to accept her and forgive her. That was when all my troubles started. I have no privacy in my home, my MIL put order nobody goes around it.. I typically turned to a slave and a sales girl in my own husband  business and house. 
I kept all this away from my family, but my husband will beat me and call my parents to hear my voice while crying, it was so horrible that he kicked my tummy while I was 8months pregnant, I begged my family to stay away from my issues with my husband, they did obviously because they stays in a different state so they have no one to tell them what I was passing through because I have no relation in the state where I and my husband and his family stays.. When it was time to deliver, I n my husband had an agreement that my mum will be coming that he will send his driver to go pick her, after some while he came back and said my mum should find her way to his place,did I mention he has a problem with my mum?? He actually called my mother a prostitute and my Dad an arm robber during one of his rant I was the one that pleaded to my parent to forgive him , so our decision to go pick her was to show her his remorse and for her to feel comfortable but he changed the plan immediately because his mum asked him to.. 
Finally my mum came around with some of my siblings,though accommodation wasn’t the problem because our house was very big and spacious. Luckily for me, my mum was already around when labour started. She called my husband he came and drove me to the hospital and left to his business, after Doc examination I called him that i have be offer a bed but my husband never came till he closes his shop that was when he came with his Mum.. I was told to walk around with the pains, I was on my walk when my MIL came to me and said ‘ Are my the only woman that have experience labour? That I haven’t seen pains yet that if I see pains I wouldn’t be moving around that I will act like a mad woman I only told her that I wouldn’t run mad or scream so loud because I promise to give birth to my child with smiles on my face, she hissed n left, after some hours I was taken to the labour room, where I spent have of my day because my child was so big and the doctors where not around just the Nurses so I was told not to PUSH that d surgical team we be coming, luckily for me an experience Nurse who is my friend  now Late, May her soul rest in peace,but works at a federal hospital told those nurses with me what to do, thank God they accepted her suggestions because I was passing away already, my mum was beside my bed crying n praying and my Ex was busy videoing his dieing wife, though he was chast out frm the labour room, immediately he left I PUSH my baby out but the placeta broke inside my tummy, I was rush to the theater thank God the surgical teams have arrived they worked on me.. 
I thank God I and my daughter came out alive.. Though she weighed 4.8kg.  I got home my MIL wasn’t happy that my child was a girl she instantly changed the names she calls her while in womb, but my Mum Told her that the child will feel she’s not welcome… My husband started behaving funny because my family was at his place, he locks my kitchen packing store and goes out with its keys,I was so ashamed when mum told me, because every food stuff is in that kitchen was my mum that brought it, she spends  money to buy things to cook in my house, when am supposed to be spending she was and my husband comes home and eat without asking where the money for making the food came from.
 
My mum lost her Mother whose my granny, I happen to be her favourite so am supposed to attend the funeral and it was fixed when my daughter will be two weeks I urged my Uncles to extend the date because I don’t want to miss it, the did and it falls when my daughter will be a month and two weeks, I told my husband he advice we see a doctor to check if baby is fit to travel , we went ooo.. And the doctor said we can travel as long as the air is controlled… So he planned we will be traveling before him that his driver will take us, but barely two days my Ex changed his mind that am not going anywhere with his child that my family wnt to go and incarnate my grand mother into my child,
I was shocked because I know who must have told him to refuse, all effort to see my MIL and my husband elder brother was in veil, they avoided me but I kept to myself that I will attend it.. Before then my Mum have left to prepare for her mum’s funeral because she’s the only daughter staying in Nigeria.. I was left with my daughter no body to bath us but my MIL ran n refused to come claiming to be too busy with her business, so my husband decide to invite a church member who am not too familiar with to bath US, but I refused n insist my elder sister should come, she finally came but my husband showed her his not happy with her visit, his not accommodating at all and not friendly, so d issue of the funeral came up again because my tailor came to take my cloth for making, my husband came in and collected the cloth and threatened to kill me, that was when my elder sister asked him to please do and he wouldn’t be alive to tell what happened, though that my sister is not the gentle type, she hears all that have be happening to me and cried because I wasn’t eating or using the right things to make me look good. 
At that moment my husband called my dad and warned him to stay away from his family that he has married me and own them nothing, and he called my dad by his first name sef…. My father is not the type that will ask you to leave your marriage, so he called me to drop my intentions for coming for the funeral. I accepted my dads plead but my husband torment to me became worst that I have to take a decision to leave the house, I took my daughter and our clothes and left with my elder sister who said she’s going because she couldn’t stand his insults and hatred .. I spent 8months in my father’s house but my husband never came for Us because his Mum ask him not to visit and she went ahead to tell their village people that I ran out of her son’s house and took his whole properties, thank God those elders came to our house and they saw the house intact even our baby bed was their, they came to my fathers house and after hearing my own side they where ashamed to ask me to return to their son, instead they say alot abt my MIL and how she claimed I took her son’s properties while I didn’t because they went to the house.. I asked my family to return his dowry and I wnt back to school to finish up, mind you the marriage only lasted for 11 months his church sided them… 
Am 26yrs old  will be going for NYSC soon and I have a recreative business that takes me in and out of Nigeria all thanks to my family they stood by me and my pretty daughter will be 3yrs old by Aug… His father vow never to support or send money for her up keeps… Though am okay but deep down am bittered because I wonder what will take off his mind off his blood,  I know how will see divorce but I have to take the bold step frm be killed, though am still healing but I will be strong again, have not given up on Family I believe a good one is coming.. 

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