Ten years ago, Philemon Ihediwa wrote,
starred, directed and produced his first movie in the United States. He
was one of few Nigerians in the Diaspora that ventured into Hollywood.
His movie, CONGO BOY IN THE CITY, featured Nollywood movie
stars like Kanayo. O. Kanayo and Madam Gee. Through the years,
Philemon
struggled to release the epic movie, but was constantly disturbed by the
challenges of his divorce and child support payments. He became
heartbroken, reclusive and rejected by his children. Ihed, as he was
widely known in the US, was chased by the agonies and trauma of child
support harassment, allegedly fuelled by his ex- wife’s several court
cases against him, in concert with the North Carolina Child support
enforcement.
He changed jobs occasionally, as he
struggled to pay whopping child support monthly bills. In 2013, Ihed
lost everything. He was near homeless, barely living in his storage: he
hid his pains and troubles from those close to him until a family member
mistakenly found out he was hanging onto life where he stored his
little possessions. The family member offered him a place to start life
anew. Sometimes in the spring of 2015, Ihed moved to this small road
town, Smithfield. He wanted to be far from years of sad memories from
his marriage: he began recovery from rejection by his children. He
relocated to a small town of Smithfield, North Carolina. On Saturday
evening, police found his bloated body in his apartment. He fell on the
floor in his bathroom, hitting his head against the bathtub.
Monday evening, Ihed, during a telephone
conversation with his female friend, Louise Gorsham, who lived “across
town”, hinted that he was not feeling well and would retire to bed
early. Ms. Gorsham pleaded with him to call her when he woke up at
sunrise. He agreed and they both wished each other goodnight.
“The next day, I called several times
throughout the day but he did not respond to my call. I sent text
messages. No response. I waited till Wednesday to repeat calls and text
messages. I did not hear from him. I was also at work. By Saturday
afternoon, after I closed from work, I pleaded with a coworker to drive
me to Ihed’s apartment in Smithfield, a thirty minutes ride from
Raleigh. I was mad at him. I thought he was ignoring my calls on
purpose, might be he had found another lady. But when I got to his
apartment, I noticed his car was in his parking space. I began to smell
stench coming from his door. I knew something wasn’t right.
“Immediately, I called the Smithfield
Police department and requested a welfare check on my friend. The police
arrived few minutes later, broke into his apartment and found him dead
on the floor, bloated and oozing. My friend died lonely from a broken
heart and years of pains from being denied relationships with his
children. He loved those kids. Ihed told me many times that his wife
had, through the years, barred his children from visiting him. She set
them up against their dad while she was busy collecting heavy child
support. That man was a very great man. All he wanted was to be a good
father to his children. But his ex wife was in the way. Now he is gone.”
Smithfield medical examiner’s office
determined that the causes of death were seizure and possible heart
attack. It was recorded that “his body was bloated and near
decomposition when he was found in his bathroom. The heat in the
apartment accelerated decomposition process.” The medical Examiner also
concluded that Ihed might have died five days earlier.
Unconfirmed sources say Smithfield
police tried several times to reach his ex-wife but she did not return
calls placed to her cell phone. His body was deposited in the morgue
pending notification of his next of kin, his children, especially the
first son.
The Nigerian community in RTP in
association with Ngwa Association, on Monday attempted to move his
remains to a funeral home to prepare him for burial. But the funeral
home indicated that it would only honour the wishes of the family and
not community members; to protect itself from any legal fallout. The
ex-wife and their first son refused to participate in the burial of
their father. On Wednesday afternoon, after several pleas from members
of the community to the ex-wife to encourage his 19-year-old first son,
sign a release form allowing the community to be responsible for Ihed’s
funeral, the ex-wife and first son, George Uche, met Jebose Boulevard at
a funeral home to relinquish their rights for the final disposition of
their late father.
Jebose Boulevard assumed the right to
bury Mr. Ihediwa. This refusal confirmed the conversations trending in
this small town that the children rejected and refused Mr. Ihediwa as
their father. Jebose Boulevard, Ngwa and the Nigerian community moved
his body to the funeral home.
Nigerians in the Research Triangle Park
are infuriated about the sad death and circumstances surrounding the
tragedy. Family and close members are theorising on what drove him to
early death. A member of his extended family, who chose to be anonymous,
stated angrily, “Ihed spent every month of the last ten years being
taken to family court in Wake County by his ex-wife for child support
payment and arrears. He paid about $1,400 in monthly child support to
that lady. She dragged him through the system. Ihed worked very hard and
suffered to pay child support. The ex-wife accused him of being a
superstar, rich and wealthy. This man had his talent and creativity that
couldn’t fetch him money because he was abused and stressed by the
ex-wife. She took him to the cleaners. He is dead now. What else would
she claim?”
What was a bedroom whisper, gossip and
innuendo had within few days of his death, become a trending
conversation in most Africa’s community melting pots here, grocery
stores, or social gatherings, reiterating the heavy child support
monthly payments to his wife.
Court documents obtained confirmed
several court cases filed by plaintiff (Stella Ihediwa) against
defendant (Philemon. N. Ihediwa) with regards to various child support
litigations (Case File: 06CV018338). The child support case was still
ongoing until his death. In a recent court case filed on April 2014, the
court upheld an earlier ruling of $859.00 order against Ihed as child
support. Arrears as of April 16th 2014 was $5,664.11.
Between 2007 and 2014, Ihed child
support ranged from $1,300 to $859.00, depending on his employment. He
also filed few cases seeking child support adjustment, as his employment
status changed.
Ihediwa and Stella were married in 1996.
The marriage was blessed with three boys. Ten years after their
marriage, the couple separated on June 23, 2006. The state of North
Carolina granted them certificate of absolute divorce on June 18, 2010.
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