Funmi Akingbade
Over the years, there has been an ongoing debate and till date, answer seems to be contradictory and the subject of the debate is quite ironical: ‘who enjoys sex more, the young or the old?’ According to a set of researchers, they believe that a memorable, passionate and erotic sex is mostly experienced by the younger couples while another set of researchers says sex gets better with age; older couples have the best of sex.
As a matter of fact, it is not questionable that the younger couples [age below 45] have many things to their advantage to enjoy the best of sex such as good, energetic physical built, fresh blood, raging hormones, insatiable desire and craving, high fantasies, stamina, lower level of marital and financial stress and so on and so forth. But it has also been argued that this is not applicable in all cases. Findings have shown that sexual frustration ranks high among younger couples. Many younger couples are said to deal more with marital challenges that usually sap the joy of sex out of their relationships than many older couples. So, is there high percentage of couples over age 45 who claim they enjoy sex and are satisfied with their sex life? Does sex actually get better as couples age? Well, here are the findings of many schools of thought and what many researchers have to say.
Most couples over 45 think they enjoy sex more than when they were younger. They say they are either somewhat or extremely satisfied with their sex life. Thirty-one per cent of these older couples say they are neither satisfied nor dissatisfied. And 22 per cent of them say they are absolutely dissatisfied.
Experts say the sex lives of older couples often benefit from more experience and sexual confidence, relationships that have matured to a greater level of trust and intimacy. According to statistics, the average couple reports having sex 66 times a year. Married adults under age 30 say they have sex an average of 109 times a year. The average number drops to 70 times per year for 40-somethings and 52 times a year for people in their 50s. And amidst this, many wives of all age have confessed of higher preference for reaching orgasm through oral sex and clitoral stimulation or clitoral foreplay, than daily vaginal intercourse. While only fewer percentage of husbands reported a preference for oral sex to achieve orgasm, many of these husbands claim that even though they would prefer oral sex or blowjob most of the time, they are more likely to reach orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse and deep thrusting in and out. But women are more likely to reach orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts that include vaginal intercourse or oral sex. Testosterone is sometimes called the “male hormone,” but women’s bodies make it too, just less than men. The hormone helps guys get facial and body hair, a deeper voice and sperm. For women, testosterone seems to play a key role in sex drive. When love is in the air, oxytocin is working in the body. It’s released when we hug or cuddle, and it’s linked to the bonding between spouses and mother and child. It also helps mothers with labour and breastfeeding.
On the average, a healthy man ejaculates around five to six minutes. This is the average duration from the beginning of vaginal penetration until ejaculation proper, which many younger couples cannot boast of, but older ones can. When it comes to stress and age, no age is off the hook. Both young and old are stressed equally and most times, this accounts for the shrinkage of the penis. Stress can make a man’s penis shrink either young or old. Shrinkage of penis for healthy and younger men most time could be only temporary but with older men, it could be permanent if treatment is not applied. Actually, a man’s flaccid penis varies in size considerably because of various environmental factors and their effects on the sympathetic nervous system. Masturbation, excessive intake of alcohol, smoking, addictive use of substance, some common painkiller medications, extreme consumption of processed sugar and food, unhealthy life style, extreme cold water and cold air are perhaps the best known causes of this “shrinkage” phenomenon, but psychological and psychosomatic stress can do the same thing.
Majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day; the thought mostly stimulates good sex while majority of men under 30 think of sex more than six times per day and this category of men falls in the bracket of men that may not be able to express their sexual desire legally and as a result of such go for what is called ‘quickie masturbation’ and one of the side effects of quickie masturbation is that it leaves these men with a sense of guilt, dissatisfaction, restless mind-set, addiction and premature ejaculation and weak erection, leading to erectile dysfunction. When it comes to fantasies, an average young couple fantasise about sex more than the older couples because as men and women age, each fantasises less, but husbands still fantasise about twice as often than their wives and sadly, they fantasise sex with younger women than their wives’ age.
Studies have also shown that many women of all ages do not usually mention orgasm or orgasmic experiences as part of their sexual treat when asked about their most satisfying sexual experiences. Instead, they talk about feeling loved, passionate, happy, aroused, erotic and connected to their husbands, while this is not so with men of all ages. Men’s ability to reach orgasm either with their wives or alone has been one of their quests for conquest. They see it as a big achievement. Although, it actually takes a man five minutes to reach orgasm at any given time, it is an experience many men look forward to and are dying to have all the time. Even though wearing a condom can sometimes increase the time it takes to ejaculate, I always and usually recommend wearing of condom for majority of married men suffering from premature ejaculation and many have reported tremendous improvement from feedbacks.
Also, the “pause and squeeze” tactic has facilitated better bonding and oneness among married couples of any age with husbands having issue with chronic premature ejaculation. Now are you suffering from premature ejaculation? Try and practise this; it will help a lot. To do this, a man either pulls out or stops touching his penis when he is about to ejaculate. He then squeezes the tip of his penis.
Regardless of age and gender, many married couples react same way to sexual stimulus. For instance, most couples when their inner wrist is caressed while holding hands, it stimulates good sex more than imagined. Couples easily have sexual feelings especially when attention is given to the inside of the wrist as it can be an exciting spot. This is because it has a lot of nerve endings. You can touch gently at first, allowing your spouse to connect with the fact that you’re touching them sensually. Another spot in the body that all ages fall for is the nape of the neck. In fact, women, young or old, ranked the nape of the neck above the breasts and nipples as an erogenous zone; it’s such a sexy place. The soft spot behind the knee is another nerve-rich area where we’re not often touched. Touching the back of the knees and leading up to the thighs is intimate and it gets married spouses closer to the main attraction. Try gently touching your partner behind the knees while he or she stands in front of you or massage them there; alternating between deep pressure and a tickle. Caressing the earlobe works well for everyone of all age.
One of the reasons why sex gets better with the health status than the age of either sex is because of the type of eating lifestyle many have adopted. Couples that spice up their meals with cayenne pepper [sombo] experience better sex at any age. So, for better sex, spice up your love life by adding some chili pepper to your diet, especially cayennes. It generates natural heat that helps relax the arteries and when the arteries relax, it helps blood flow to the heart and other organs, including the penis and the clitoris. Chilies can also help lower blood pressure and cholesterol and prevent blood clots. Addictive consumption of garlic can take sex life of couple from zero to surplus. Although it is a strong-smelling bulb, it definitely could help between the sheets. If plaque forms on the walls of the arteries of either of the couple, blood flow could be cut off or reduced. That could cause a problem when it comes to romance and sex. Garlic in your diet will help keep your arteries healthy and clear as you age. Local walnuts have lots of arginine, an amino acid our body uses to make nitric oxide. They are also good sources of vitamin E, folic acid and fibre. Add a few small handfuls to your daily diet, they are high in calories. An ounce a few times a week of Dark Chocolate or local cocoa has been one of the secrets of great sexually satisfied couples of any age. Chocolate is rich in flavanols, plant nutrients that can increase blood flow and lower blood pressure. It also helps your body make more of nitric oxide, which can help with erections. Watermelon should be a night drink for every husband, it is a sweet, refreshing fruit; it has a compound that can have effects similar to ED meds on the blood vessels. It may even rev up sex drive, studies say. Most of watermelon is water, but the rest is loaded with lycopene, an antioxidant that’s good for your heart, prostate, and skin. Do not forget that couples who sweat together stay together, so make an exercise date with your spouse. Studies show that challenging physical activities spark arousal. You’ll be more attracted to your spouse post-workout, too. Coordinate your actions (for example, run at the same pace) to strengthen your emotional connection even more. Do house chores together, do gardening together, make school run a habit both of you enjoy together.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Do we have less ability for arousal as we age?
Mr. Neil Brandepu
I think our physical capacity is limited and diminishes with age. Yet, that doesn’t mean that the net experience has to be worse. For instance, my aged father plays tennis much better today than he did 15 years ago, and yet that man 15 years ago could certainly outrun, outhit, outdo, even outscore some of his friends today because he is more strategic. The life experience of playing for so many years has assisted him and in much the same way, someone who knows his spouse, is known by his spouse, whosoever has the ability to be relaxed and be comfortable and enjoy each other can have a great sex life. And the irony is that those people who come to me later in life who have had problems, fortunately for them, they actually have some of the best times to look forward to sexually. Whereas people who had fabulous sex lives when they were younger may notice some progressive things where things aren’t quite as great as they were, even though it’s still wonderful. So getting help later on in life is very often a good idea, not a bad idea.
What can I do to improve the quality of my sperm?
And what time of day is best to check my testosterone level?
Steven Christian
The great thing about sperm health is it is directly related to your whole body health. So, eating a healthy balanced diet, exercising, sunshine every day on your skin, avoiding bad social habits, alcohol, tobacco and other drugs, all of those things have impact on your general health and sperm health. If you’re obese, you’re going to have problems with your hormones and other issues. If you’ve got high blood pressure that’s not controlled or maintained, if you have thyroid disorders, if you have self-abusive habits, all of those things have a big impact on your general health, and they also have impact on your sperm health. As to the best time to check your level of testosterone for a man, it’s probably best to get a testosterone level checked late morning, sometimes around 8am and 10am. That’s when it peaks. Although there’s normal fluctuation in the testosterone throughout the day, usually morning is one of them; that is why men’s libido, their sex drive, tends to be higher in the morning because their testosterone levels are higher.
I have lost erection
I have this issue that is giving me terrible concern; each time we are having sex, my wife always wants me to penetrate deeply but I have noticed that each time I do that, I always hear a crack as if something has broken and now, I’ve lost my erection.
Atiba Atejiba
Probably what occurred is what’s called a penile fracture. It really isn’t a break like the break of a bone. But there are two chambers within the penis that hold the blood, the Corpora Cavernosa. And it’s a very thin-walled structure that becomes much distended, very tense, and that’s where the rigidity of the erection occurs. In certain rare circumstances, the torqueing, the stretch on that is enough to pop and crack one of those chambers. Naturally, you will experience severe, excruciating pain, sudden disappearance of the erection, horrible pain with blood. The penis will become purple; if the pain is not much, all you need is a time off from sex and taking things easy. And as time goes on, you should be fine. But if the pain is unbearable, you might likely go to the hospital. The major risk of this may be the scar from the healing of the tear and the blood; you can end up with penile curvature and even permanent impotence. The good news is it is fairly rare. It almost always occurs in very aggressive wild sex, usually women on top. What happens is the penis comes out of the vaginal vault and then goes back in and misses, hits the pubic bone in the woman and that’s enough to force it and pop it. So what you may likely be experiencing is over-stressed penetrative activities, which I would suggest you calm down a little bit.
I produce less fluid
I am over forty and I notice that I produce less fluid while ejaculating. Should I worry if I am producing less ejaculation?
Worried man
Men of all categories seem to be obsessed with themselves as far as how they perform sexually. Ejaculatory volume and force seem to be something that they’re very proud of, and as men get older, there are changes going on within the prostate gland and the volume of actual fluid can decrease. And the intensity and experience can change. When you are physically fit, there is a possibility that you will still feel the same, the orgasm is unchanged, but there will be less volume and less force to it and that just is part of natural aging. It also has to do with stress, fatigue, frequency of ejaculation, intensity of ejaculation; all of those factors play a role in what you are experiencing.
How long does intercourse last?
How long does intercourse typically last for most couples and how many calories can a couple burn having sex? What is the smallest penis ever recorded.
Mr. Dan Fetherok
Hi, sexual intercourse lasts from three to thirteen minutes, according to study. Calories lost during sex is about 300 per hour and the smallest penis is between five to eighth of an inch.
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