23/04/2016

‘MEN Are All Unfaithful; Women Are All Ungrateful...’

THIS is what we keep hearing every day. I almost bought into this view after my experience. Many live their lives today and relate with the opposite sex with this word at the back of their mind and so their relationship is t what it should be.

    Hey; I was maltreated and badly bruised for 14 years. When it ended, I didn’t go out there shouting that all men are bad. I didn’t give space to bitterness in my heart. I refused to move with the wrong people. I looked for and related with the right people who helped me to maintain a positive mindset. 
    I continued trying, giving love, and believing in love. It took time before the right man came but coming in contact with the wrong ones educated me and granted me the opportunity to know the right one when he showed up. 
  That girl hurt you after several years with her and so all we hear from you is that every girl deserves death. You go about telling whoever cares to know that women shouldn’t be trusted. You have even succeeded in convincing a lot of vulnerable people into believing you and taking your route in dealing with women. 

   You gave your all to that man and at the end of the day, you were battered, used, abused, and dumped. My dear woman, you haven’t done anything exceptional. For 14 years, I served and if I should use the word ‘worship’, I did worship him. My friends mocked me and said I behaved like a woman in her 60s. After all the goodness and love that I gave, it ended the way it did, to the glory of God (in everything give thanks).
    Have you ever seen or heard me advise any woman to disrespect her husband? Have you ever heard me write or speak against men out of bitterness? Have you ever seen me speak for gender equality in marriage? I speak and fight for women’s rights but I do it in accordance with God’s standards.
     I am a Christian and if the Bible is my manual, I strive to walk with the standards of that manual even though I fail sometimes, but I will not, with my clear eyes, stand against the word of God. 
I allowed God to take me through the process of healing and overhauling; He did and now I am an agent of change used by Him to bind and unite homes and relationships. Something good will always come out of every bad situation if only you let God have His way.
    My dear girl, whatever you passed or are passing through is not new under the sun, many passed through it and came forth shining and many are still in it but handling it graciously. Stop shouting out every day in bitterness towards men. Stop working with the devil to destroy your own future by allowing every man that comes your way to walk away due to your transferred aggression on them. 
   The life of bitterness you have settled for can only lead you into frustration, depression, cardiac arrest, and possibly, early death. It’s time to do away with the negative mindset you have acquired as a result of past events of your life. 
   Sir, stop hating and instigating your fellow men against women. Stop deceiving the vulnerable and turning their hearts against innocent people. Many have been misled by some angry folks into having a negative mindset regarding marriage. Marriage, my dear young woman/man, remains the most beautiful union on planet earth.
    There are still many, millions of good men as well as women out there and I am grateful to Jehovah for blessing me and giving me a second chance to be loved and celebrated by one great king, the hero of my heart. This wouldn’t have been if I had shut the doors of my heart to men. I won’t be here today if I had taken that route of judging and making others to suffer for the sins of a total stranger. 
   If you go on living in bitterness, there won’t be space for God to do a new thing in your life. He has promised to give you beauty for ashes; He has promised to turn your mess and mistake into a message. I gave His Spirit a chance to break, remold, and make everything new. I kept my heart open to love and even when I failed, I continued running after genuine and true love from God. 
   God can wipe away the pain and scars of yesteryears in a flash, only if you let him. You must first strive to make yourself Miss/Mr. Right if you want to find Miss/Mr. Right. First run after God’s own love and you will see true love run after you.
Enough of that “all men are unfaithful, silly, nasty, bla-bla-bla”; enough of “women are forever ungrateful and unfaithful”. 
   Begin to see everyone as individuals with different upbringing. Stop using your mistake or the mistake of someone close to you to reach conclusions about a particular gender. If you want true love to locate you, you must remain a child at heart. 
    If you are already trapped in one mess, simply take a walk with God and ask Him to handle it His own way. In handling it His own way, He can decide to take you out or go through it with you...it’s all for your good. Simply let His will be done.

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